Waiting

                              

the other person loves you
they know it

or they don't know it

sometimes you, me, one just has to wait
for them to remember

and what's the best way
to help them along

love them,
of course

Day 5 of upcoming back, 40 days from Heartbreak to "Almost Enlightenment"

5. Loving What Is

[ Welcome to your new lover, the one and only totally, TOTALLY trustable lover: Reality!]

We will be circling back towards this many times, as we explore the work of Byron Katie, as we discover the root of all suffering, as we wise up into the glory of now.

And for today, try this: make a study of when you feel unhappy.

And notice that it is always accompanied by a complaint about reality. (One of those shoulds or shouldn’t again, most likely).

Notice that.

Notice how if you wish harder and stronger that reality be different, you feel worse and worse.

And now try out, test out, tiptoe in to LOVING WHAT IS.

If all alone: love that. Just for a moment. (And then maybe another.)

If angry, love that.

If angry and angry at yourself for being angry, love that.

Is sad, confused, rushed, lazy….., whatever it is, love what is.

Buddha's truths, relationship's parallels, waking up to love in uncomfortable = real

Buddha truth: 4

Life is suffering ( can be)

Suffering from grasping: cling to, push away

Is way out: enlightenment

Is path to enlightenment



Susan Piver's take on this vis a vis relationships:

Relationships are uncomfortable

Trying to stabilize deny hide from discomfort causes suffering

Unconditional love is possible

Path is:
attention, with precision , on moment and partner

openness to what see

let go of trying to control




good,
and her comment:
of Buddhist trained marriage counselor:
in 30 years never found a couple where one didn't want more away ness,
one didn't want more closeness
good

Stuck: Great, wake up time ahead

Moshe Feldenkrais ends his book, the Potent Self, with a statement to the effect that
"One of the great joys in life is overcoming difficulties."

There you go.

Life is about challenges,
and even if the challenge is being delighted
in the present,
that challenge is always present.

We want to change weight.
Get jobs more in tune with our real nature.
Make more money.
Move more easily.
Improve golf, tennis, swimming, yoga, walking, dancing.

We want to relax more,
Be happier.

That's a good base line isn't it:

To be happy.

Happiness is who we are meant to be.

Unhappiness is the alarm signal:
not living life as it should be lived.

Joy is who we are meant to be.

Frustration means:
we want something more.

Can we be happy
and present
and excited
to take our frustration
and turn it into learning?

I think, feel and have experienced
that's a pretty nice way to live.

What do you think?


Ciao
for
NOW,

Chris

Heartbreak and Enlightenment, give yourself 40 days

TAKE IT OUT OF TIME
 If you are in "heartbreak" land.
If your world has crumbled.

 [ A huge amount of suffering comes from the friction and “resistance” caused by trying to instantly “get rid” of it]

 Give yourself 40 days.
Not to wallow.
Not necessarily to feel awful.

But if you feel awful, give yourself some time to “go there,” as they say. “

Go there” can mean the prior two lessons. There will be lots more offered.

 And here’s the idea: LET CURIOSITY AND NOW-CENTERED AWARENESS be the bedrock.

As, oh, I thought such and such and now I feel this and that.

Or, this feeling bad is mainly in my throat. I wonder where specifically it is in my throat. What do I want to say?

Today, my feeling bad is keeping me from getting this done…. I wonder what would happen if I did my tasks anyway.

 (We’ll have several lessons on all the above).

The point is: treat it like a child that needs patience and curiosity: what’s going on with you? What is it like to be you? And leave time out of it. Give yourself 40 days. After all the goal is to get very close to enlightenment in this time, and that seems worth at least 40 days, don’t you think?

Coomunication: From sh...t, to ahaa, something like love, at least learning and listening

Let's say this is happening:
You are talking with someone.

They are disgruntled with you.
You are disgruntled with them.

This happens, you know.

And what's a "waking up" kind of person,
an "on the way to enlightenment" person to do?

Relax.

Remember that the story: "This is supposed to be going
better is just a story."

Shift:
To the present.
To curiosity.
To honesty.

Try the truth,
From the present: I'm feeling uncomfortable with how this is going,
in my chest, and in my breathing and in my story that "you should be different"

Try curiosity:
I wonder what the secret war we are up to is.
Or, I wonder how we're into I'm right , you're wrong land.
Or, I wonder if we could do this differently.

Try honesty:
Part of me just wants to win this argument,
another part wants to have peace and love.

I'm not sure what to do, but I suspect we need to do something different.

Try connecting:
What do you think is missing?
What would you like that you think you aren't getting?

Something like that.

That's the start.

There's more.

Come to my workshop, if you are in Austin,
May 3, 6-8 PM
Reduced rates today, April 25 and tomorrow.
$30 first person in relationship, business, group,
$20 second.

Price at door: $50/ $35.

The aim of the workshop:
Double income
Double relationship happiness
Double "enlightenment"

See page at Awareness Equals Freedom for the
pay pal thingies.

Heartbreak and Enlightenment

This is a big enough subject for a small book.

Fifty, sixty pages, no more.

I'm going to start it tomorrow.

This is just me thinking aloud, in the famous
present.

Heartbreak means: it's over.

Enlightenment means: it's over.

In one, "love" is supposedly over, but it's not,
you can love the woozie doozie out of someone who left you,
or with whom you've had to part for the best interests
of your life.

Love goes on.

The dream story of togetherness, or happy ever after has gone,
and guess what: you can be happy ever after,
not with that person, though, same room, same bed,
same marriage, whatever broke to make heart break.

Oh, well.

The dream has ended and the heart, wanted the fullness,
wanting the love that was there,
or the hint of love that ALMOST made it,
or the moments of Real Love in between
the bickering bullshit,
whatever the dream was:
over.

Oh, well.

In enlightenment, too, the dream is over,
except it's the big, "I'm the one that's all important" dream.

Gad, that's a big one.

And the blowout is gentle, or severe, but
what's left is a very happy
emptiness.

Not like a broken heart.

Like a full heart, with no one owning the contents.

Hmmmm.

Interesting.

Yeah, very.